For today’s writing prompt, let’s use another one of our senses to gather sensory details to improve our writing.
(Our five senses are sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch, but today we’ll focus on sight.)
Sensory details help your reader better understand what you are trying to convey. You want your reader to feel as though he or she is right there in your setting with your characters, seeing everything they are.
Pamela’s Prompt: Stop and Look
Like we did last week, find a comfortable place to write and grab either a pen and paper or your laptop. For this exercise, I sat on my front porch. Set a timer for five to 10 minutes and look carefully. Jot down everything you see.
Here’s what I saw:
• Two squirrels racing each other around the trunk of a tree.
• A young mother pushing a baby in a blue stroller.
• A little boy wearing a helmet and pushing on a scooter, closely followed by his father.
• My across-the-street neighbor leaning over the engine of his car.
• A military helicopter flying overhead.
• A monarch butterfly flitting among my sage bushes.
• An Amazon Prime delivery van stopping at the house on the corner.
• A blue sky with no clouds
• Three teens walking and chatting
Next, take one of the things you saw and write a sentence or two, using as much sensory detail as possible.
For example, instead of: “A little boy wearing a helmet and pushing on a scooter, closely followed by his father.”
I might write: “A little boy, wearing a red-and-white striped helmet, pushed his scooter furiously, followed by his father who had to jog to keep up with him. The scooter hit the curb, causing the boy to tumble onto the grass. He rolled, got up, and darted toward the house with a sheepish grin at his father who laughed and shouted, ‘You must have to go potty really bad.”
Sensory details are like scenes in movies. Think about the opening sequence in Raiders of the Lost Ark, arguably one of the most memorable in movie history.
In the first few minutes, we are introduced to the swashbuckling protagonist, Indiana Jones, as he dramatically cracks his whip and steps from shadow into light in the South American jungle.
Next, we get a taste of the action that the rest of the movie will deliver when Indy enters the hidden temple and retrieves the golden idol. Remember, the part when that gigantic boulder rolls toward him? Or, when he narrowly escapes, but then is greeted by his nemesis, Rene Belloq, and a group of very unfriendly indigenous people who are pointing arrows at him?
Director Steven Spielberg sure knows how to make movies, right? So maybe you’re not an Academy® award-winning filmmaker, but you can take Spielberg’s example and vividly show your readers what your characters see.
Add sensory details and let the reader “see” for themselves. Next week, we’ll explore the sense of smell.