Have you ever been around a “yes, BUT” ‘person? Let me explain.
A “yes, BUT” person is someone who acknowledges something is good but always feels the need to mention something bad – no matter how minor.
Here are some examples of conversations with a “yes, BUT” (YB) person:
Person A: “Wasn’t that a wonderful play?”
YB: “Yes, BUT did you see the actress drop her scarf in Act I?”
Person B: “Aren’t the bluebonnets pretty this year?”
YB: “Yes, BUT they would be so much prettier if it weren’t so cloudy today.”
Person C: “I really enjoyed that meal. Did you?”
YB: “Yes, BUT the asparagus was a bit wilted for my taste.”
For me, it’s exhausting to be around a “yes, BUT” person. A YB is never satisfied or content with anything. Reluctantly, though, I confess that I have been that type of person myself lately. Normally, I am an optimist; however, I struggle with chronic pain, and in my darkest hours, I have become a “yes, BUT” person.
Here’s how a recent conversation with my sweet husband went:
My husband: “I hope the new pain medicine I bought for you is working well.”
Me: “Yes, it takes the edge off, BUT it’s not something that will work long-term. I’m going to live in pain the rest of my life.”
Ouch. Seeing that conversation in stark 11-point Times New Roman typeface really hit me. I sounded like a “yes, BUT” person. [big sigh]
Then, I thought of Paul, who was in “chains for Christ” but who still wrote the following:
“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
Philippians 4:11-13
Paul almost certainly never dealt with such minor things as a dropped scarf in Act I, a cloudy day, or wilted asparagus. And, I thought with chagrin, he never had any type of pain medicine to help him while imprisoned.
I don’t want to be a “yes, BUT” person, I thought determinedly. I want to be a “yes, AND” (YA) person. A YA person shows satisfaction, contentment, and gratitude in every situation.
Let’s revisit the conversations above.
Person A: “Wasn’t that a wonderful play?”
YA: “Yes, AND I’m glad we got to spend time together. Thank you for inviting me.”
Person B: “Aren’t the bluebonnets pretty this year?”
YA: “Yes, AND God’s handiwork is always beautiful, isn’t it?”
Person C: “I really enjoyed that meal. Did you?”
YA: “Yes, AND I’m grateful to have food when so many in this world go without.”
My husband: “I hope the new pain medicine I bought for you is working well.”
Me: “Yes, AND thank you for going to the store to get it for me. I love you.”
I’m determined to live my life more like Paul and be “content whatever the circumstances.” In essence, I want to be a “yes, AND” person.
How about you?